nah this is not an early morning to begin with but i was having a deep thought.
no i dont wanna do this. no i dont wanna be in this course.
i want to do whatever i like that meets my interest. and if this course continues to be of no help or in any progression, i am going to put up a white flag on it.

i am NOT joking.

been really thinking what should i do in basically MY LIFE and i thought i shouldnt be wasting like few years more anymore. so what about the certificate if i dont produce any good shit-ass results?
im beginning to have doubts in this area that im in.
you have no idea how much i hate school and how much its pulling the level of my confidence down.

fuck. but this is so not me. i dont give up. i just push myself (ok no, more like drag) and sometimes when things get so iffy i'd still manage to pull it through.
i am the so called optimistic bitch. and i dont want things to change. i expect it to remain the same and if it doesnt, then everything would be much more complicated as it already has!

im like ranting my shit out of here. im not asking anyone for help but God himself. yeah. i feel so much better ranting here to be honest. like a private entity of my own.
im gonna go. go fuck the wall. HARD.