i know what i did was wrong but it feels so right. and all i could think of right now is him. i know he yearned for my touch bcus he was going nuts intending to meet me up right after my job last night.

yes. our lips meet again. this time round it was passionate. i feel as if there was something in there. something different. i dont think that we're even doing it for the sake of doing it. for all i know i dont think he had the same feeling as i have now. i want him. and i know i want him to be mine.

the fact that he is not the perfect dream guy for me pisses me off. i think im a little bit in love with him. just abit. but the fact he doesnt or is not ready to be with me brings disappointment to my thoughts. i know it was lust. it was meant to be just like that. i hate to admit this but i swear he is the most amazing kisser i've ever kissed in my entire lifetime. that obviously made a very big impact in my whole love life (i guess).

i know i can do this bcus i've been through this exact situation. i have to control my feelings for him. he told me honestly about him going to meet another girl the next day. and THAT, THAT! THAT obviously hurt me. i hate to really tell the truth but i felt a tinge of pain and i almost cried. it was something, unexpected. its my fault and that is clearly true.

yes, he still is giving me the attention that he promised he would but, doesnt he get it? i want to be the only attention he is drawn into. the only attention in his life. i know im that selfish but I WANT THAT! there is no reason for me to be some kind of perfectionist shit ass chick but how can i get in love without hurting myself?

what am i? who am i? please lead me.

lead me to the right path.

love, yanney.