I havnt been updating myself much as of late.

So much things have been happening to me. SO much God knows how much I've been through.
I dont know how to begin but. here goes.

As I re-read the posts, talking about my past, Byron and I. How everything was. The memories came back. Unbearable.

I did end up to see Byron last December in South Africa and it was a good experience traveling alone and seeing the world in a sense but at the same time I knew our relationship was at stake. I didnt want it anymore. As soon as I came back to Singapore, I decided to leave.

Things of course got a little out of hand after the break up. I found myself glazing over everywhere and just trying to occupy myself. In search of happiness. It was bad. We didnt end it clean. We had grudges. He still did have feelings for me. He still cared and so did I. We were still stuck on each other.

Until the day came that I decided it wasnt worth my tears nor my time. I decided to pack up and leave. I didnt want to be where I was, hanging by a thread. I hated the feeling, uncertainty.

The impromptu trip I made to London.... I met an amazing guy. Everything that happened. It was magical. I guess theres probably so much to share. Seumas, he's absolutely incredible.

The last 4 days I was in London, I was told about Byron's death by his mother. No one knew it was going to be so soon. Especially me.

I broke down to tears. God knows how I felt at that point of time. I was probably lost with Seumas right by my side. Sitting and waiting in hoping I would recover. It was hell.

I fell in love. I fell in love again with this boy I never thought I would. A boy whom I once said I'd never settle or be serious in a relationship with. A boy that lit up my life when I was alone in the dark. A boy who'd wipe away my tears and tell me he'll be there for me, and that he wanted to, genuinely. Cared for me.

Seumas and I. Im not entirely sure where we're going but. He's my present, my future. I dont know what God's plans are but. I sure do hope it will all be worth it because everyday, my feelings for him grow deeper.

Am planning to head down to London again this September. Still contemplating.

My graduation happened again this year. The people I truly wanted to be there didnt attend. I had my friends instead, and that was just a blessing. I am thankful to have such beautiful souls in my life.

I miss dad. I dont know where he is. No news. I wish you well dad. Especially in the month of Ramadhan.

And I wish you well too Byron. Be safe up there. I know you're happier and Im happy for you.

Take care all. God Bless.
xx